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CyanQueen

Shades of Cyan
2 Watchers4 Deviations
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  • Apr 26
  • United States
  • Deviant for 12 years
  • She / Her
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Profile Comments 21

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BY THE POWER OF THE WATER FAIRY I NULLIFY ALL THE CURSE-DOOM-CHAIN-MESSAGES, ALL HARM AND THREATS ARE NOW INVALID.
A woman told police that men were living in her attic and that their poop was running down the walls
into her first-floor bathroom. She also said the bathroom mirror was a two-way and that the men
were using it to spy on her, and she showed officers a piano that her niece would climb into
when she wanted to teleport to the attic.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:-Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm;- Life isn’t always fair; - And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don’t spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights,I Want It Now,Someone Else Is To Blame,I’m A Victim.Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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